So if you’ve worked hard enough to become a multi-millionaire living in New York City, how do you spend that kind of money in style? Where do the stressed-out millionaires of NYC go to unwind after a long day of making stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks?
Well, to some of the finest and most expensive bars in the country. If you really want a memorable night, take a date to Uncorked and order the Diamonds Are Forever martini. This drink can go for upwards of fifteen thousand dollars. It comes with Grey Goose vodka, with fresh lime juice, and oh yeah—a diamond engagement ring. That’s definitely memorable.
If you’re like me and you like your bars dimly lit with a lot of atmosphere, like you’re in a David Lynch movie, the Rose Bar is for you. Not only does the place have a ton of style, but it also frequently features live music like Guns N’ Roses. Just know that even a small swig of whiskey or a martini will run you 20 bucks. That might not sound like a lot, but let’s be real—you’re rich. You’re buying the whole bar around.
Then there’s Deer Irving, which is a place where you have to have a reservation to get through the crowd. This ’60s retro bar features a different theme in each room for an NYC experience that will make you feel like you’ve traveled back in time.
Town Car
If Succession has taught me anything, it’s that rich people don’t drive in New York. You absolutely have to be driven around in a town car. There’s also no way you’re dropping 2.50 plus 40 cents a mile on a taxi or around 25 for an Uber. Those are for non-millionaires, you know, like me.
Town Car International’s black car service is one of the best in the city. Prices for this kind of service run from around 84 dollars an hour to 168 dollars an hour. Of course, if you want to bypass that, you could always get yourself a Lincoln Continental Coach for your own luxury ride—only for 118,000.
You will then have to pay 30 to 50 per hour for a driver, because as we’ve covered before, you cannot be spotted driving.
Of course, if The Wolf of Wall Street has taught me anything, it’s that ridiculous—
Helicopter
Rich people take a helicopter, because why take the road when you can have the sky? If you want to rent a helicopter to take you from your helipad to work’s helipad or to the Hamptons, it’ll cost you around 290 dollars to 795 dollars.
Weirdly enough, it might actually be nicer to take Uber’s new helicopter service. Apparently, the prices for those are around 200 to 225 per ride.
You could also buy your own Sikorsky S-76B helicopter for 7.5 million. Of course, you’ll also have to shell out for a great pilot, who usually makes around 7,000 a month.
The most important thing about being an NYC millionaire—
Haircut & Manicure
—is that you need to look like one. You’ve gotta be perfectly manicured from head to toe. Luckily, the city has some of the finest places to do just that.
The Julian Farrell Restorative Salon and Spa on Park Avenue is where movie stars like Richard Gere get their haircuts. Cuts from an artist like Farrell can go for 800 to over a grand, depending on what you’re having done. I’m just wondering why this guy doesn’t have his own TV show yet.
Then there’s the Round Salon NYC location that offers some of the best manicures in the city. The only other locations to get this kind of work done are Tokyo and Singapore, so getting it in America is a real treat. The designs there can run up to 180 dollars for any design you want. Just know that some of these can last up to three hours for quality work.
Of course, if you live in New York, you gotta go see the Yankees play. There’s no way you’re—
Yankee Suite
—gonna sit in an uncomfortable seat with the normal guys again, like me. You need your own Yankee Stadium suite to watch the game. These may cost anywhere from eight thousand to twenty thousand dollars, but they’re worth it.
You trade bumping knees with strangers for a private room stocked with booze, food, and luxury seating. If you want to go see the Mets in style like this, it’ll run you three thousand two hundred and fifty dollars to thirteen thousand dollars, five thousand to twenty five thousand dollars for the Rangers, and surprisingly the Knicks have the most expensive, worth eight thousand to forty thousand bucks.
It’s gonna be really hard for me to pay like twenty dollars for a ticket now.
If you’re flying back from a business trip in London, let’s be real—
Luxury Flight
—you’re not flying coach. You’re gonna fly in a seat like Virgin Atlantic’s Upper Class suite. These can run you over 11,000.
Luxury starts with you waiting at a lounge far away from the normal people, with plenty of food and bar options. Upstairs is the den, with plenty of entertainment options including video games and a giant TV.
Once on the plane, you’ll see that you have plenty of space, hundreds of hours of in-flight entertainment options at your fingertips, and plenty of dining options. Those aren’t my favorite features, though.
That’s right—you can recline back and make your seat into a bed. How am I ever gonna travel in coach again?
Living in New York is one thing, but what about—
St. Regis Hotel
—just staying there for a night? A regular stay at an NYC place could run you a few hundred bucks, but that’s not good enough for you. You need the Saint Regis Hotel, which runs 35,000.
The suite is 3,430 square feet and includes two luxury bedrooms overlooking Central Park. This is by far one of the most stylish and comfortable places you can stay in all of NYC. Everything is gold with red carpet to truly make you feel like a proper celebrity.
You also can’t even consider—
Restaurants
—eating at a restaurant that’s anything less than three stars. Le Bernardin is a great place to start. It has fresh seafood at fixed prices broken down into almost raw, barely touched, and lightly cooked.
You can get the 165 dollar four-course meal, the 293 dollar tasting menu with wine pairing, of course, and the 373 dollar chef’s tasting meal with, of course, a wine pairing as well.
Then you’ve got restaurants like Daniel, which has meals from 158 dollars to 250, Eleven Madison Park for 335, and Per Se for 355. Make sure you get a pic of these meals, because they were made for bragging on Instagram.
Does a meal even happen if you don’t Instagram about it? As for me, I’ll probably be dining on a street hot dog for like a dollar.
Fine dining once you’ve fought through the hunger games of—
NYC Apartments
—NYC real estate. You can find yourself living in one of the nicest apartments in America.
Floor 96 of 96 is the penthouse at 432 Park. It’s an unparalleled 160 million dollar place. Every inch of this place is modern luxury. It includes a 93-foot living room, a private restaurant and lounge, a 75-foot indoor pool, a state-of-the-art fitness center, a yoga studio, sauna, steam, and massage rooms.
What you’re really paying for is that gorgeous view of the city, though. You can observe it from a peaceful seating area right by the window. Apparently, at midday, golden natural light flows through the master bedroom, beckoning for a nap by the skyline setting sun. There is no better flex than that.
Of course, it’s possible that a penthouse in one of the nicest spots in New York City is too small for you. Okay, okay—what about buying your own townhouse?
There’s nothing that says “I’m rich in New York” like owning a townhouse. Luckily for you, there are plenty up for sale for tens of millions of dollars.
Let’s start with this six-bedroom, eight-bathroom, twenty-thousand-square-foot East 69th Street home that feels like it’s from another century. That’s because it was. This house was built in 1910, well over a hundred years ago.
Every room of this house has hard floors, gorgeous cream colors with gold detailing, and epic chandeliers. There’s also a spiraling staircase that winds its way upstairs into your beautiful, spacious bedroom.
It also features amenities such as a movie theater so authentic you can practically smell the popcorn. Then there’s the pool that looks ready for someone to take a dive right in.
Of course, if you wanted to look at something more this century, you could have something like this 50 million dollar, six-bedroom and eight-bath, ten-thousand-four-hundred-square-foot modern behemoth built in 2015.
It has a total of 15 rooms, each of which are a modern masterpiece of open spaces and natural light. Basically, what I’m telling you is for 50 mil, you could have a home that glows in the sunlight through 15 spotless white rooms.
Gotta say, though, my favorite is this 63rd Street home that combines all of the things that I love about both old and new NYC townhouses. For starters, it was built in 1910, but still feels like a home built in this century.
It has dark brown walls and hard black floors that make it seem moody and inviting at the same time. So it’s basically the Adam Driver of townhouses.
It’s New York. You’re rich, and you’ve seen The Producers, but—
Broadway
—you seriously missed the point. That means you’re ready to invest in Broadway.
If you want to support the arts and possibly want a piece of the next Hamilton, it’s not as expensive as you’d think. For as little as twenty five thousand dollars, you could become an investor who could get a share of the production. Some are as low as five thousand dollars.
Of course, if you wanna be a big Broadway producer, maybe you wanna take on the full bill for 8 to 12 million dollars. You could call yourself a big-time producer who has brought their own show to life.
Now we’ve just got to figure out how much the cape you’d have to wear to the premiere would cost. So I tried to look up how much the Statue of Liberty would cost. Unfortunately, I think you’d at least need to be a billionaire, which sucks, because it only cost like 250 thousand dollars to build in 1880.
Seems like the city’s really attached to it.